10 Steps To Become A Hippie

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Filed in Life | 8 comments

Ever wonder what it would take to be a hippie? I was told by a friend that I didn’t even know what a hippie was. I want to prove him wrong.

Here’s how you do it.

Step 1: Stop taking showers. Personal hygiene can be taken off your to do list.

Step 2: Master the game of hacky sack, fine tune your drum skills and learn to toss hippie sticks.

Step 3: Brighten up your wardrobe with handmade tie dye clothing.

Step 4: Believe in unicorns and their magic.

Step 5: Grow out your hair. And for men, grow out your beard. All the way down your neck.

Step 6: Make sure you have at least one sleeping bag in the trunk of your car.

Step 7: Stop eating meat or go big and become a vegan.

Step 8: Never stay in a hotel again, only camp.

Step 9: Dust off your Birkenstocks. Don’t forget to wear them with socks.

Step 10: End all of your conversations with the word “peace”.

This list was compiled based on my experiences. What would you add to the list?

There is no way I could be a hippie. I don’t even like granola. And now that I have the list, I know what NOT to do.

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Subject: Out Sick

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Filed in Health | 3 comments

I’m at home. In bed. Feeling horrible. I’ve been sick all weekend.

I emailed in sick from work. Yep, I did. I sent an email. It’s way more technologically advanced than using the phone and calling in sick.

They can easily survive with me. I’ve got the best staff ever!

Worst part about this cold…it comes with an insatiable appetite. I ate an entire bag of Cheetos on Saturday night. I know, it’s an exciting life I live.

Worst part about being home today…my housekeeper is at my house today. Listen to her talk radio show. Really loud. I may have to drown it out with the sound of daytime tv up in my bedroom. Which will be another reason to make being home today suck more.

Anyhow, I must end this post and check my work emails. I have to make sure nobody else emailed in sick and left me with work to do from my lap top. In bed.

P.S. I realize after several failed jokes over IM this morning and after rereading this post, my sick funny isn’t actually funny. I apologize and appreciate your readership in the good times and the bad.

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Innocence is Adorable

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Filed in Family | No comments yet.

Elle (my 10 year old) was telling me about what she did while hanging out at a friend’s house. There were several kids there, all in Elle’s 5th grade class. Unrelated to this story, but kind of cute…I suspect Elle has a crush on one of the boys in the group.

Elle said, “We were all just talking and hanging out in Dan’s room.”

My jaw dropped. “Elle! You are not supposed to hang out in a boy’s room!”

She was quick to respond, “Mom, don’t worry. It was clean.”

God, I love that kid. She is so very innocent.

I wonder if she’s mine.

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