Awkward Silence
By Susan Mercedes. Filed in Drinks, Friends |
Over the weekend I attended a big fancy party. It was an engagement party hosted by the rich and not famous. It was in a huge & beautiful home. It was catered. It was crowded. There was even a bartender who kept finding me and topping off my wine glass. Naturally I didn’t want to be rude and say “no thanks” so I kept allowing him to do it.
Back to the party. I do them well. I mingle. I chat. It’s where I thrive. Plus I wore a hot little dress that makes me smile. Towards the end of the evening (translates to consumption of lots of alcohol) I was pulled aside to meet another group of people. This group happened to be a small group of men. Not small in size, they were regular sized men. We were all making idle chit chat about the weather, the party, the cute engaged couple, living in other cities, traveling, whatever. Then out of the blue one man blurted out (directly to me) “I’m married.” This comment was so out of place and odd that it felt like time stopped and the room got super quiet. I responded with, “I’m single.” I could have added, “dumbass” but it didn’t go with my dress.
So my question is this..
Why did he say it?
The only explanation I can come up with is this. He heard me say, “Can you unzip my dress?” when I really said something like “Canoe near Madras?”. Although I’m certain that canoeing never came up in conversation or it would have been my cue to excuse myself to grab another glass of wine.
Tags: conversations, events, Friends, men, party
Sunday, March 1st 2009 at 5:52 pm
Maybe HE said something different. Like “I’m harried.” Or “I’m airy.”
susanmercedes Reply:
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:11 pm
Quite possible. He was an idiot.
Sunday, March 1st 2009 at 5:57 pm
I’m single.
susanmercedes Reply:
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:12 pm
You’re single?!
After my experience you’ll notice that it is perfectly acceptable to announce that fact at any point in a conversation with strangers.
Sunday, March 1st 2009 at 6:20 pm
all men are tossers, but you know that by now!
susanmercedes Reply:
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:13 pm
Not ALL men are tossers. This guy…yes.
Sunday, March 1st 2009 at 6:22 pm
@sterkworks.. no sweets, i keep tell you, you are singuLAR…
Sunday, March 1st 2009 at 6:31 pm
Laughing about the regular sized men. I was picturing you amongst the lollipop kids.
susanmercedes Reply:
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:14 pm
My weekend on the set of “Little People, Big World” was not this past weekend. Sometimes you just have to clarify.
Sunday, March 1st 2009 at 8:21 pm
Reminds me of an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie gets a dating service mailing addressed as “Dear Single.” As a fellow “single,” I’ve perceived a wide range of awkwardness from men. I can’t help but think my signals are getting crossed somewhere.
susanmercedes Reply:
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:15 pm
As singles we should note that this announcement shouldn’t be made amongst a group of non-flirting strangers. Of course, you would know that. This guy clearly didn’t. Silly boys.
Sunday, March 1st 2009 at 9:04 pm
I think he was thinking… “What a gorgeous woman! But damn, I’m married.” But he said it out loud.
susanmercedes Reply:
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:17 pm
Aren’t you a peach?! There was plenty of wine being poured to make me a gorgeous woman!
Sunday, March 1st 2009 at 9:11 pm
Reminds me of “do you want to dance” and “you look fat in those pants”
Men are awkward.
susanmercedes Reply:
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:18 pm
I only hoped this guy didn’t say “I”m married”. But he did. Sad, sad day for him.
Monday, March 2nd 2009 at 1:18 am
Ha! I love it! That’s totally hilarious. And yeah, we all should mind our manners when our wine glass is being topped off, there’s no need to be rude and decline, by any means.
susanmercedes Reply:
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:19 pm
The LAST thing I want to do it be rude. Although being polite cost me a nasty hangover on Sunday. Emily Post would be proud.
Monday, March 2nd 2009 at 12:51 pm
I’ve shared this all of my colleagues and they ALL agree–he obviously was into you, to the point where drolling and stuttering were almost inevitable. Sad. You and I will have to come up with a plan to mess with him since I’ll be seeing more of him this “season.” Lucky me!
susanmercedes Reply:
March 2nd, 2009 at 7:22 pm
Lucky you! Let’s figure out a plan. It does make me feel better that ALL your attorney colleagues agree. I see more trips to California to visit you in my future. Please warn your hubs.
Love you!
Tuesday, March 17th 2009 at 1:13 pm
clearly if you looked like I know you looked in your short dress sporting your second set he was having carnal thoughts and he was having a conversation with himself inside his head and then the little devil on his shoulder released his lips and he blurted his thoughts out…but he was probably saying “damn I’m married” He just didn’t get the damn out!
susanmercedes Reply:
March 18th, 2009 at 8:02 am
Is that really what goes on in men’s heads? Whoa. And thanks for the compliment!