“Are You In?”
By Susan Mercedes. Filed in Life |
There are phrases in life that make me giggle like a 12 year old.
- “I’m in.” This makes me snicker like a schoolgirl every damn time I hear a guy say it. They are usually trying to confirm their interest in participating in an event. I automatically think they’re saying they’ve inserted. Imagine asking a man, “Are you in?” What an ego deflator. Especially when all I want to know is if he’s coming joining us.
- A private club for members This has been a term used in Utah for years to indicate that you must have a membership to enter a club or bar. Every time I hear this I think it’s a private club for mens’ private parts. Imagine a bunch of dicks wandering around a bar. Wait, I’ve actually seen that.
- “Have a great flight.” & “You too.” When a gate agent says this to me, I inevitably respond with “you too” as I rush onto the jetway. It takes me a minute to realize she isn’t flying anywhere.
- Fir & Duck When I mistype on my iPhone it should know that I rarely intend to use the term “fir” or “duck” in my text. Fir should be for and duck should swap the “d” for a “f”. I think my iPhone misunderstands who I am. It takes me for an outdoorsy girl. I’m not.
What are the phrases that make you laugh? Please share them. I need more to giggle about. 
Monday, March 16th 2009 at 3:39 pm
“The early bird gets the worm” its archrival is “good things come to those who wait”
and i don’t know about you but i think rain soaked cement gets the worm, they are nuts for that.
“an apple a day keeps the dentist away”
so if i eat half an apple do I get half a dentist? a midget dentist?
I have more but blah!
susanmercedes Reply:
March 18th, 2009 at 8:00 am
I want more. Those were great. Btw, I hate worms and scream at the sight of them. But I love the dentist. So I’m gonna eat two apples today. Wait, no, I need to throw up an apple.
Tuesday, March 17th 2009 at 7:41 pm
Cocktail, pussy willow, and “in the crease”.
susanmercedes Reply:
March 18th, 2009 at 8:08 am
I am roaring! Those were hilarious. Thanks.
Wednesday, March 18th 2009 at 7:39 am
My favorite that always makes me snicker just a little (because I’m immature and juvenile like that) is whenever i hear someone say, “What time do you get off?” when they’re [usually] referring to what time the person is done working.
susanmercedes Reply:
March 18th, 2009 at 8:11 am
Amberly: Busting up! That reminds me of a story. I was on a cell phone with a guy I was dating while he was driving. He said, “I’m getting off at the whatever exit”. I replied, “Shouldn’t you use both hands to drive?” It took him a minute. We broke up shortly after.
Amberly Reply:
March 20th, 2009 at 1:12 am
Probably a good thing, I imagine.
Wednesday, March 18th 2009 at 11:18 am
“I had Five Guys for breakfast!”
“No thanks, I did Five Guys for lunch and now I’m stuffed.”
“You haven’t lived until you’ve had Five Guys.”
“It’s been so long since I had Five Guys!”
“Anyone else craving Five Guys?”
“I had Five Guys last week, and it changed my life.”
“I think you’re the only person I know who hasn’t tried Five Guys yet!”
You get the idea.
susanmercedes Reply:
March 18th, 2009 at 11:38 am
Laura: I am rolling on the floor right now. Again, I ALWAYS forget how damn funny you are. I know it’s lunchtime but I’m actually in the mood for porn. Weird, I know.
Wednesday, March 18th 2009 at 11:45 am
Well, whatever fills you up, I suppose. To each her own.
I’m going to get a business card: “Specializing in forgettable humor since 1974.”