Wino Wednesday: Stock Up To Sex Up
By Susan Mercedes. Filed in Drinks, Home, Wino Wednesday |
This theory was crafted after many glasses of Alice White Chardonnay. It is my house white wine….an easy drinking chardonnay from Eastern Australia.
I have a huge fear. That fear is running out of something. Specifically wine. Therefore I keep a stash on hand at all times. By stash, I mean 40-50 bottles. This could be because I grew up kinda poor. As an adult, I find that I buy everything in duplicate. But wine…I buy it by the case. Always. I also don’t love going to the store. So really I save myself a ton of time by buying in bulk.
Two examples of my wine stash spots (I have several):
The opposite of buying in bulk are those people who pick up a bottle to go with dinner. I never understood that approach. Those people frighten me. By the way, that was not a typo. I meant to type “a” bottle. That shit scares me. What if you finish the bottle and want another glass? You’re fucked.
Speaking of which…the more your guests drink, the hotter you look. That’s a fact. Well not a proven one. However I have heard about people who leave the bar with a hottie and wake up with a dog. Those episodes are ALWAYS a result of drinking too much. Now do you see the logic? Drinking more makes everything look better. If you limit you and your guest(s) to only one bottle you’re likely to NEVER have sex again.
Buying wine in bulk is directly related to ensuring a full sex life! See, I’m a genius.
(The purpose of this post was to justify why I buy things in bulk. My bulk wine purchases are now solved. And I’ve already discovered why I do it with batteries here.)
Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine related stories.
Wednesday, May 20th 2009 at 8:49 am
Actually, that ‘fact’ is plausible. Thanks to Mythbusters. Haha! Still, good excuse.
Mythbusters Results: http://mythbustersresults.com/episode-110-alcohol-myths
Susan Mercedes Reply:
May 20th, 2009 at 8:57 pm
MooKooJoe: I watched that Mythbusters episode but was too lazy to research the results. Thanks for being my research sidekick.
Wednesday, May 20th 2009 at 9:10 am
OK i love the fact that you have your own “house white”
Susan Mercedes Reply:
May 20th, 2009 at 8:58 pm
Katarina: If I only had my own labels…
Wednesday, May 20th 2009 at 10:54 am
Loudon Wainwright III played a song last night that brought you to mind. White Winos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg3ybQA52xc
Susan Mercedes Reply:
May 20th, 2009 at 9:00 pm
Jebro: I love it! Cheers to taking the edge off. *clink*
Thursday, May 21st 2009 at 1:42 pm
I often go to the wine store on my lunch break. It’s like the candy store for me. But I never have had a stash like you have. It is very enviable!
Susan Mercedes Reply:
May 22nd, 2009 at 6:47 am
Summer: The wine store is like an adult candy store. Too bad it costs a hell of a lot more. My stash started with me buying 2-3 extra bottles every time I visited the “candy” store. But I visited often so I didn’t have time to drink those extra bottles.