Drink from my Bosom
By Susan Mercedes. Filed in Drinks |
I love gifts. Any kind. Any reason. Any occasion. So when I got to work one morning and discovered a cute little gift bag on my desk, I was so excited. It was a surprise. It was not the day I blessed my parents with my presence in the world, it wasn’t the day baby Jesus was born, it wasn’t the day my divorce was final. It was just an ordinary day.
I eagerly opened the bag and tore off the tissue paper. This is what I discovered…
Turns out someone I work with brought me a gift all the way from Hawaii. This person knew of my coconut obsession which would explain the gift. However I wonder if they were aware of my other obsession…boobs. Well not any boobs. Just mine.
Would it be rude to ask for bigger coconuts and a grass skirt? The sexy coconut device is better suited for a B/C cup plus I’ll need a grass skirt to make the outfit complete. Or better yet, I won’t risk being rude and I’ll use them as two giant pina colada cups. Umbrella straws anyone?
Friday, May 22nd 2009 at 10:06 am
I want to see a picture of you and a friend on your deck-with-the-view sipping from these (just place them in bowls so they don’t tip over) with festive straws.
Susan Mercedes Reply:
May 24th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Gigi: I better shop for some damn cute straws with umbrellas on them. Expect pictures before summer is over.
Friday, May 22nd 2009 at 10:14 am
Send ‘em to me.
Susan Mercedes Reply:
May 24th, 2009 at 9:33 pm
Kel: Uhm, they won’t fit you either. I saw your cute photo in the purple dress last week.
Friday, May 22nd 2009 at 1:19 pm
They’ll fit my teensy boobies and Brett would love you forever!!
Susan Mercedes Reply:
May 24th, 2009 at 9:36 pm
Holly: They would actually make your “teensy boobies” look like the size of say…1/2 a coconut. You better start shopping for a grass skirt and get a sitter. I can send them once I drink pina coladas from them.
Friday, May 22nd 2009 at 3:50 pm
Ha! Those are awesome. Who knew such things really did exist? Not me!
Susan Mercedes Reply:
May 24th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
Amberly: Oh they exist alright. But I don’t think they have ever existed as an actual bra. Odd shaped things really.
Friday, May 22nd 2009 at 3:58 pm
What luck! The Salt City Derby Girls are having a luau on June 13. Get that grass skirt and you’ll be set.
Susan Mercedes Reply:
May 24th, 2009 at 9:38 pm
Diane: That would make me popular with the crowd. Half of a coconut used as nipple covers and and a see through grass skirt. Hope I don’t get pulled over on the way there.