Panties Ruined My Lunch Plans
By Susan Mercedes. Filed in Life |
I love to sleep in the buff. Yep, nothing on. Except occasionally I’ll forget to take off my panties. But since they’re tiny they don’t really count.
I’m also a complete neat freak. My house is always orderly and neat. So when I leave the house in the morning everything is in it’s place. Dirty dishes are in the dishwasher. Bed is made. Towel is hung to dry. Explaining my tidy obsession is another blog post on it’s own, so we’ll skip that part.
Yesterday morning, I woke up. Jumped out of bed. Brushed my teeth. Peed. I let my panties fall the tile and immediately got into the shower.
My morning routine continued as usual. Meaning, I got all pretty for work.
Then when it was time to leave, I did my usual visual sweep of the space. All glasses (water, wine, coffee) must be carried downstairs. Plus I had to lug my huge gym bag, enormous purse, and laptop to the car.
During my mental sweep, I spotted my panties on the tile. This stopped me dead in my tracks. I leaned down and with my pinky finger I scooped them up. My laundry room is conveniently located on the top floor of my house and it is on my way to the kitchen and then car.
As usual, I’m racing against time. Hands are full. Bags on my shoulders are heavy. As I pass through the kitchen I grab a nectarine. I’m a woman on the go so sometimes breakfast is quick like that.
I continue down another flight of stairs to the car. This is my favorite part. I get to unload all this shit. Seriously the bags are big and heavy. Plus I’m dying to eat the nectarine.
As I drive off I look over in search of my juicy fruit. Instead I saw a black lacy item. (Picture is provided to illustrate black lacy panties, not confuse you into thinking I carried around all of these.)
Photo & panties provided by Victoria's Secret
You guessed it. My panties never made it to the laundry room. They are in the car with me!
Imagine me clearing it off the passenger seat for someone to sit on our way to lunch. How in the fuck would I explain that? Needless to say, I didn’t drive to lunch yesterday. It wasn’t worth the humiliation.
Tags: awkward moments, mornings, panties
Friday, July 31st 2009 at 10:04 am
This is why they take the time to install glove-boxes in vehicles, or in your case, panty-boxes.
Susan Mercedes Reply:
August 4th, 2009 at 1:51 pm
MooKooJoe: But that’s where I keep my wine opener. And that thing will snag lace.
MooKooJoe Reply:
August 6th, 2009 at 9:55 am
Ah’. Yes, lace panties would present a small conflict with the wine opener. Hmmm… transfer wine opener to purse perhaps?
Susan Mercedes Reply:
August 7th, 2009 at 6:45 am
MooKooJoe: You’re always thinking of solutions!
MooKooJoe Reply:
August 10th, 2009 at 6:28 am
Thas what I do. ^_^
Friday, July 31st 2009 at 10:23 am
At least you didn’t leave them on TOP of your car.
Susan Mercedes Reply:
August 4th, 2009 at 1:53 pm
Katy: Oh my! And in my neighborhood it’d be my luck that a neighbor would see them at the bottom of my driveway and put them on my doorknob. I’m blushing just thinking about it.
Friday, July 31st 2009 at 1:00 pm
I am pretty sure I would have driven to lunch anyway and told my passengers that I usually get dressed on the way to work and that those just didn’t make the cut that day. Give them all a cheap thrill. Everyone loves a good ’sans panty story.’ I’m a giver, what can I say.
Susan Mercedes Reply:
August 4th, 2009 at 1:54 pm
Heather: Great…the HR executive known for going commando. Just what my career needs.
Tuesday, August 4th 2009 at 12:57 am
i enjoyed the read! It reminded me of a story I might have to blog about! And agreed with above that’s what the glove box is for!
Susan Mercedes Reply:
August 4th, 2009 at 2:02 pm
lostplum: Thanks! I’ll watch for your post. But as I mentioned earlier in the comments…aren’t gloveboxes for wine openers? If not, I’m doing it all fucking wrong.