Photo courtesy of www.scientificamerican.com

Seriously I have succeeded in an unplanned new path! No, I’m not trying to trap a guy by getting pregnant. That’s not my thing. Mainly because my tummy is flat and I’d hate to stretch it out again.

I officially stand at a 100% success rate for successfully setting up people. I’m a matchmaker. I’m a human love connector. That shit deserves an award. ONE HUNDRED PERCENT PEOPLE! That’s epic.

Let me share a specific story to illustrate my success.

My dear friend (and waxer) was single 3 years ago. So was a guy I worked with. Both had been in other relationships prior. And I’d had known both for many years before that.

One day I had a brilliant idea. I’d set them up.

So we did it. Sight unseen. They both agreed to meet for a cocktail. I agreed to join them with another decoy…the boy’s best friend.

That was July 3rd, 2007.

Soon it will be July 3rd, 2010. And guess who will be getting married that day? They will. Adorable, right?

Here’s my secret. I only set up people who will hit it off for the long haul. And by people, I mean two very specific people. SO WHAT that this is the only couple I’ve ever set up! It worked. And I’m taking all the credit.

Maybe I’ll get a free wax job out of this. Do they call those things wax jobs? Boy does that sound like something worse.

Tags: Dating, Friends, matchmaker, wedding

Embarrassing myself is nothing new. I do it all the time.

Embarrassing myself by showing my boobs. Also not something new. But it’s always accidental.

I accidentally sent a topless picture of myself to one of my dearest friends. A guy friend. Much to his surprise this happened over an IM chat. Story is here. Lucky for me, this guy had already seen them. We dated years ago. For a while. Not like for a few days. MUCH longer. Like a few weeks. Because otherwise that would make me a hooker or something. Anyhow, that picture peep show was totally an accident.

I’ve even shown my boobs to a group of strangers. On an airplane. Of course, they didn’t sign up for the show. Nor did I mean to do it. But here’s the story retold. Clearly this live boob show happened unintentionally.

I’ve even purposely shared pictures of my boobs with that special man in my life. Hell, isn’t that the perk of being in a sexy and exciting relationship.  This was alway intentional. And always reciprocated. Meaning, I had also received pictures. It has been a mutual sharing event.

But ladies, be smart. Whatever you do, DON’T send pictures of your naked boobs, cleavage, thighs, etc to a man who you aren’t in a relationship with. You want to know why? They don’t have loyalty to you. Sure they appreciate the peep show for the time being. Men are visual. And they love the attention.

I’m here to tell you ladies, WAIT. Send pictures. But do it later. When he’s really into you.

Because otherwise these men will show these “sexy” pictures to other people. And they include names to call you. Trust me, sexy is not the descriptive word they use. It’s not cute. None of us want to be referred to the chick who “wears ugly bras” or to be called “big girl” or be tagged as a “a sure thing” for sharing this over email.

I’ve personally heard this from men who share this shit with me. From the men who willingly accepted these photos, and actually might have seemed excited to get them. At first.

So please, for the love of a higher power, STOP THE INSANITY. Okay, that was dramatic. But for those of you who feel sexy, and you should (we all should), share those pictures! But only share them with someone who has your best interest in mind. And I don’t mean just for the night.

This post was inspired by recent a recent reality tv show episode, articles I’ve come across and real life boys I’ve had to listen to.

Having pictures of myself talked about didn’t happen. I’m not saying it couldn’t happen. Aside from the events above, I’ve only shared photos with boys I’m “with”. So if they did show others, it would be the ultimate breach of trust. And paybacks are hell. Especially when I save all the photos I’ve received.

Side note to exes: In the rare chance that you read this, please don’t worry. I will not share that picture of Mr. Youknowwho or of you doing that pose.

Side note to readers who get this far: I do not choose to be with men who come up with names for that part. Ever.

Tags: boobs, pictures

Admit it. You’ve had intimate relations with another person. I bet you even have a wild side.

Do you know your purity score? You can take the 200 question test here. I’ve taken it twice and my score is below 50. Far below 50. Like much lower. The higher the number, the more pure you are. I’d like to think I’m adventurous.

Or that I WAS adventurous in my younger days.

On that note, where’s the craziest place you’ve ever done it? Take this poll to share. Or comment your wacky places and stories. No pictures please.

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Tags: sex