Archive for the 'Health' Category
Not the Answer I Wanted
Friday, April 2nd, 2010Generally I don’t want to hear the answer “no”. Ever. When I ask a question I want the answer to be affirmative. Great responses are “yes” or “absolutely” or “hell yeah”. But I generally don’t want to hear “no”.
Question: Can you get me a glass of wine?
Answer: Absolutely.
Question: Want to cook me dinner?
Answer: Hell yeah.
Question: Want to help me with this project?
Answer: Yes.
Those are just some of the examples where an affirmative answer is the only one I want.
Well…
Yesterday I was in the middle of an amazing workout with my trainer and I asked a question. I was on pike #14 when it happened. You know pikes? The horrific exercise where your hands are on the ground (like your doing a push up) and shins are on an exercise ball and you roll the ball to your feet while piking your butt up in the air making a “V” shape. It’s a killer core muscle workout. My trainer had me do a few sets of 20. I died. Before my death, I asked a question. Mostly because my t-shirt was slipping towards my chin everytime I made the “V” shape. Side note: I was wearing t-shirt, yoga pants, sports bra and a standard g-string.
Question to trainer: Are my panties showing?
Hoping to hear an answer I normally don’t want to hear. Such as “NO!” or “not at all” or “you’re fine”.
Without skipping a beat, my trainer said “Yes!”
I fell off the ball. Tucked in my shirt. And pulled up my pants as high as I could on my waist. Then I finished my remaining 6 pikes.
All with a red face.
I hate pikes.
Tags: embarrassing, exercise
Subject: Out Sick
Monday, February 1st, 2010I’m at home. In bed. Feeling horrible. I’ve been sick all weekend.
I emailed in sick from work. Yep, I did. I sent an email. It’s way more technologically advanced than using the phone and calling in sick.
They can easily survive with me. I’ve got the best staff ever!
Worst part about this cold…it comes with an insatiable appetite. I ate an entire bag of Cheetos on Saturday night. I know, it’s an exciting life I live.
Worst part about being home today…my housekeeper is at my house today. Listen to her talk radio show. Really loud. I may have to drown it out with the sound of daytime tv up in my bedroom. Which will be another reason to make being home today suck more.
Anyhow, I must end this post and check my work emails. I have to make sure nobody else emailed in sick and left me with work to do from my lap top. In bed.
P.S. I realize after several failed jokes over IM this morning and after rereading this post, my sick funny isn’t actually funny. I apologize and appreciate your readership in the good times and the bad.
