A few weekends ago, I went to Napa Valley. This is my heaven. I love Napa. This love affair began when I was in college and dating a wine master. We spent a gazillion weekends up there. But since I moved to Utah 15 years ago, I’ve only been back to thearea a few times. Napa mixes all the things I love: wine + mild temperatures + sun + wine + friendly people + green + beautiful estates + wine+  magnificent food + everything Napa Valley.

In an effort to combine Wino Wednesday and Wordless Wednesday, you can experience my trip with pictures and very little text. I love that I can have solid justification for not putting too many words in this post. I’ve not been in the mood to write much lately.

So the story goes like this…

I took a large suitcase with lots of extra room to bring back wine. Found a place that shipped it to me so didn’t need the space in the end. I had a morning flight and started my day with vodka and cranberry juice. I’ve got to stay healthy! Vitamin C, people.  

I flew in to Sacramento airport. I love their baggage claim area. Crafty for that town.

The view from our villa was awesome. There were cows grazing in the hills behind us. The cows are the black spots. Me soaking up the sun first thing Saturday morning. It felt so good. Don’t mind the natural look, but I had just rolled out of bed to enjoy this.

First stop on Saturday, where I fell in love, was Gloria Ferrar. Just to be clear…I fell in love with the amazing sparkling wine. We went to several other wineries, but I got sidetracked and forgot to take photos.

Gloria Ferrar was so impressive, we went back on Sunday. I kept my champagne Sunday tradition by enjoying a few more glasses of bubbly. Which were served to us. While sitting in the sunshine. And looking out at the amazing view.

On our way out of town, I fell in love again. This time with a vineyard on the hill.

And this is my story.  And this is how it left me…

Super happy with a smile that can’t get any bigger.

Blue skies. Sunshine. Vineyards. Bubbly. Love. This makes me happy.

What makes you happy?

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

This Wino Wednesday post was inspired by my new house pour….Yellow Tail Shiraz-Cabernet. So delicious. So inexpensive. So worth my time. So worth sharing. (Photo is courtesy of the Yellow Tail website.)

I had a lovely evening drinking wine and hanging out with a friend (who, by the way, brought me dinner). We enjoyed a few glasses of wine. And by few, I mean heavy handed pours of my house wine. My friend and I chatted. We laughed. Friend left my house.

Then the worst thing EVER happened.

I went upstairs to wash my face. I set my phone  on the bathroom counter. Hell, I’m never more than two feet away from it. I reached over to grab it. It slipped out of my hands. It fell on my cushy bathroom rug.

It shattered.

And left me with this face…

Suddenly I hate my hands for being slippery. I hate my iPhone for being fragile. I hate my bathroom rug for not being made of feathers. I hate my iPhone cover for not protecting it. I hate my iPhone for leaving glass shards in my hand. I hate drinking for causing clumsiness.

I hate…wait, I don’t hate anything!

Shit happens. (Although I still think the sad look in the photo is justified.)

Now I just wonder what I did before I had this piece of equipment. Hell, it’s only been in my life for a few years but it feels like I couldn’t live without it. Is there anything you have that you can’t imagine surviving without (besides other human beings)?

P.S. For those who care, I have an appointment at the Apple store to get  a replacement at 10:10 am today. Twelve hours is long enough for me to be without this appendage.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

There is something to be said for that saying. You know the one. Size matters. Well it does as far as I’m concerned. Bigger is better. (Disclaimer: Unless you’re talking about the size of my ass. In which case, you’re wrong.)

Clearly I have a thing for big. Huge really.

Especially when it involves juice with bubbles.

January 2010

December 2009

Recently fell in love. I saw the perfect bottle. It is double the size of either of the the bottles pictured above. It was beautiful. And as big as they come. And It was on sale for less than $2000.

I want it for the next big celebration in my life. Hello Veuve Clicquot, you make me smile. Really big.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

I spent an entire evening flying on an airplane. In coach class. I’m not complaining because I think it was the most “feel good” flight I had. Why? Well let me tell you:

1. I discovered and watched a great movie…Bottle Shock. This made #2 on my list so enjoyable. By the way, if you haven’t seen it, you should. It’s *that* good and based on a true story.
2. I had someone bringing me wine. So what that she charged me $7 for every mini bottle of the cheap juice. It tasted so good. That’s mostly because of #1 on my list.
3. My MacBook Pro battery life lasts forever. And by forever, I mean for a long time. I love that machine.
4. I bumped into a Salt Lake City friend as I ran onto the plane. Literally. I was very late and the last one to board. She was in first class. Bitch. (Not really, she’s a doll.)
5. I had wifi onboard. Crazy being in touch with people thousands of feet below you.
6. There was an empty seat next to me. My petite 5′4″ frame totally needs the space. Okay really, all the shit I was lugging around needed the space.

After this flight, I felt rejuvenated and refreshed. It was amazing. Of course, that could have been the wine helping my heart be so happy. Don’t argue…RED WINE IS GOOD FOR YOUR HEART!

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

The color yellow best describes me. If you’ve ever read the book The Color Code you’ll know what I mean. Click here to take a fun (and free) personality test and find out what color you are. I’m fascinated by this stuff so be sure to share your color in the comment area.

According to this test I’m nearly 100%  pure yellow. In a nutshell, yellows are fun, unfocused, gregarious, outgoing, flippant chatterboxes, irresponsible…did I say fun?! Well we are.

But since you mentioned irresponsible. Oh wait, I did. But whatever. Let’s swap the word irresponsible for something more suitable, like never has a dull moment in life or bubbles over with enthusiasm and a zest for life.

On to another color…my favorite, PINK. It makes me smile. I adore it. Even bought sparkling wine named “Pink”. Mostly for the label. But I also like the taste. And I love the price.

A few weeks ago, I went to the wine store to stock up. Without much thought I had the wine store clerk pull a few cases of wine from the back. The cashier rang me up and I went on my merry way. Hell yeah, I was merry. I had three cases of wine in my trunk. As in the trunk of my car. Later it will put on my trunk of my body. You know, on my ass.

And then I noticed the coincidence. Yellow. And pink. Both on my receipt. And I knew I had made the perfect purchases.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

Best Sunday ever. My trash proves it.

Here’s the recipe:

Sunday without other obligations
Sarah
Wine
Oranges
Cloves
Cinnamon sticks
Lots of mulled stuff
Coffee mugs
Fully functioning liver

Put them all together and have fun. We did! Even though Sarah and I had to cook. We hate doing that.

Here’s the recipe for mulled wine.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

I love to gamble. I love to drink wine. I love food (especially food I didn’t cook).

I booked a trip to Vegas, partly because I wanted to enjoy the loves of my life. But mostly because of these people.

Me, Mike, Suz
at Cut in Las Vegas

We ate at the most amazing restaurant, Cut. It was one of the best dining experiences I’ve ever had. I’ve been there one other time (in 2008) and said the same thing. Un-fucking-believable!

Pairing is an art. When you get the perfect pair, life is grand. I learned this on my recent trip to Vegas.

For instance, when gambling I love to see 8’s paired up (when the dealer shows a 7 or higher). I love to split them…like a hooker. This term is explained in my recent post Like a Hooker. I won money on this trip. Paired up 8’s helped, but discovering the term “like a hooker” made it a complete success.

Another example of pairs is when finding wine. I love to have it perfectly paired with my meal. Cut’s Sommelier had to help us select a wine. Fuck, the list was huge. And our choices started at well over $200 per bottle. Many bottles cost over $1000. I can’t deal with that. My taste is so much less discriminating. Plus I had been drinking cocktails for several hours prior to dinner. Anyhow, I still can appreciate a lovely wine paired with my meal.

This pairing up idea even works with food. I love to eat food that pairs the perfect flavors together to cause a party in my mouth. Cut did this. The food was flawless.

But the best pair of all…Suz and Mike. They are married. They met in law school.

Suz picked the perfect husband, Mike. And by perfect, I mean perfect for her. He’s far too hung for me. (I kid, I have no idea.) They are the healthiest married couple I know. And by healthiest, I mean in the married sense. Sure they eat healthy, but that’s not what I mean. I admire them.

Suz has been my dearest friend who I’ve known for 20 years. We met in college right before our freshman year. Obviously we stayed friends long after college.

Cheers to Suz and Mike, the perfect pair! I love you guys. xo

And what post talking about pairs couldn’t mention boobs. Yep, they are also the perfect pair. Trust me on this one.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

I love bananas. If I could make it to the grocery store more often and keep these yellow things stocked in my house, I’d probably eat one everyday. But I learned the real reason my body craves them.

It’s a cure. For a hangover.

Photo provided by the HowStuffWorks website.

Eating bananas the morning after a night of heavy drinking provides lost electrolytes like any food would, but it also specifically replenishes the potassium lost to alcohol’s diuretic effect. Other potassium-rich foods such as kiwi fruit or sports drinks work just as well.

The above insert was found on an online article titled, How Hangovers Work (full article). Helpful tidbits for you drinkers. Really helpful.

Here’s my dilemma. The picture below illustrates precisely the reason this cure is awkward or uncomforable.

Quite frankly eating bananas resembles something else…

Photo provided by Porn SFW

Scroll through the website if you’re into that stuff. And yes, it is safe for work. It’s a site that “cleans up” porn shots and it may make you laugh.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

I’ve got a question for you.

There is something I enjoy doing alone. Really enjoy it. On the flip side, I’d much rather do this with another person or even several people. It’s just better that way.

It’s drinking! I don’t mean when I’m on a traveling alone, because I enjoy drinking then. But I’m usually in a hotel bar chatting it up with others. Which really isn’t alone. And I don’t mean when I’m pouring vodka over my Cheerios in the morning. Wait…that’s silly. I don’t even like Cheerios.

So here’s my question to you….

Do you drink alone?

On a normal weeknight, I have a couple of glasses of wine with dinner. Then perhaps I’ll pour one more after Elle goes to bed.

If I have people over, I have a couple of glasses with dinner. Then an unlimited amount after dinner. Then more after Elle goes to bed.

Why is that?

Do you have a preference? Shall I clarify that I mean preferences when drinking. Because we all know that sex is better when we’re not alone.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

When I’m in Vegas I often say, “You aren’t allowed to use the terms woulda, coulda, shoulda because they are all filled with regret.”

I must say…I love Vegas. I love to gamble. I love free drinks. I love time at the pool. I love people watching. But that’s it. Therefore it is not a destination that is great to go, say when I’m married. Or at least it wasn’t back when I was married. We (husband and I, before we were exes) went once. It was a disaster.

So here’s the story. I gambled all day. Husband was attending a chef show thingy all day. Again, I was gambling all day and they serve a damn fine house wine at the Bellagio. Trust me on this one. It’s lovely.

I sat in the same exact chair all day long. I sat there through a zillion shift changes. I was doing okay gambling. Not winning big. Not losing either. Just staying even.

Hours later husband came back from conference thingy. He reminded me of our dinner reservations. He planned our entire trip around this dinner. It was a like a 15 course meal and every critic raved about every fucking course. My response to the husband, “I’m doing really well. It’ll only take me a few minutes to freshen up so I’ll meet you at the restaurant at our reservation time.” (<~ big mistake) Anyhow he went up to the room to get ready.

Time passed and I finally peeled myself away from gambling, ran up to the room to change and then raced to the restaurant. Probably forgetting panties…mostly because I was rushed and also I needed a diversion tactic for husband. These tactics don’t always work. Anyhow I got there before out table was ready. He was in the bar. I joined him, for yet ANOTHER drink. (Remember I was drinking chardonnay all day long). This time I indulged with a martini.

Finally we are seated. We get through a few courses and I realize something very important. I’m tired. Exhausted really. So I tip my head and take a cute little nap. Really though, I was sitting up the whole time. I just closed my eyes. But I also missed a few courses.

Finally I opened my eyes. I yawned and stretched. And I quickly realized husband wasn’t thrilled with dining alone. Or with me. I was in trouble. Big trouble.

We came back to the hotel room after dinner. Husband got into bed. I was no longer tired. Naps at dinner help.

As I glanced over at husband in bed I also noticed the clock. It said….11:11. It was a sign. So I bolted. Said I had to go gamble. Figured I was already “in trouble”. He was ready for bed. And I left the room.

In the casino I felt free. All alone I had a blast. And I won. BIG. HUGE. On the blackjack table.

The rest of the weekend was silent. I didn’t care. I gave him money for my portion of the fancy dinner. Hell it was only a fraction of my winnings.

Turns out…husband was pissed. Really pissed. So much so, it came up in counseling months later. And now we’re divorced. Not because of the Vegas disaster. But that trip didn’t help.

However what I did learn was that 11:11 is my good luck time. And that I should never marry a man who doesn’t gamble.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

I had to go to the Mercedes dealer. For a quick little cosmetic fix. But not the kind a plastic surgeon’s office can do. This visit involved me pulling into the service area. Hopping out of the car. Waving to my service guy. Grabbing a cup of coffee. Stopping to tell him what I need.

Me: “I need to get that little piece on the bumper replaced.”

Mercedes Service Manager: “I have it here and I’ll save you a ton of money on labor (music to my ears at the dealer). Can you stop by on your lunch break or on your way home?”

Me: “I can stop by on lunch break if you serve wine.”

Mercedes Service Manager: (swiftly pulls out a bottle of Riesling) “I can actually do that for you.”

Clearly this made me look like a lush.

Moments later, while I was waiting for my service guy, there was a man dropping off his car. I noticed Texas license plates. As a fellow Texas I quickly introduced myself. He was super nice and he just moved here with his wife and kid after living in Texas for years.

I thought I’d be helpful and point out the differences with Mercedes driver’s in Texas compared to Utah.

Me: “You know what’s funny? Most of the Mercedes driver’s in Utah are super old. In Texas they aren’t.”

Texas man: “You mean like there are a lot of gray haired Mercedes driver’s in Utah?”

Me: “YES!”

Texas man: “Oh, like me?” (points to his salt and pepper hair under his ball cap)

Me: *thinking “fuck” how can I recover* “You’re not old. You have a kid younger than my kid.”

Texas man: (laughing)

Me: “Well I better go check on my car.”

Being “helpful” was a big mistake. I looked like an ass.

In the end, I looked like a lush and an ass. The only upside to this (with the modification and play on words) is the possibility that I have a luscious ass. No? Okay, that might be a stretch. Cheers.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

I love wine. A lot. At home I always drink from “my glass”. For those who care, It’s a Riedel (Vinum series) chardonnay glass. And it makes the best toasting chime sound I’ve ever heard. Sadly, they discontinued this glass, but that is way off track. Getting back on…

Let’s be clear, I’ve been known to drink wine from plastic cups or from the water glasses in hotel bathrooms. As someone who likes to drink I can’t be super fussy about the glass my wine is served in.

My only real preference is to have my wine in a glass. With a stem.

That is…until I had a glass of white wine with a friend on a sunny summer day. Note: the word “summer”.

As you can see, this glass meets my criteria. It is made of glass. It has a stem.

But it is decorated with the words “HAPPY HOLIDAYS” in paint pen. IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER! And for some it may even be personalized with their pet name, since “Ho Ho Ho” is painted on the stem. Super classy!

I either need to buy this friend new wine glasses or only drink wine with him during the holidays. Clearly I’ll be on the lookout for non decorative wine glasses because I’d CANNOT allow non holidays to dictate my drinking life, damn it!

Or I’ll just start drinking straight from the bottle.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

I read signs. Sometimes I even follow signs. And not the cliché kind of signs, like omens or messages from a higher power. By signs, I mean sayings on magnets.

I have two wine signs posted on my refrigerator. I live by both. They have made me the woman I am today. Both were given to me by dear friends. I can’t remember exactly who, but I’m certain they are my closest and dearest friends.

The only problem with these signs: While I was obeying the first one, I implemented the second one. Sadly it was when I couldn’t decide which kind of cereal to have for breakfast. Lesson learned: stop eating cereal for breakfast. Wine in cereal is not tasty.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

It’s simple. I may have fallen head over heels in love. With a girl.

Now before you start shopping for fanny packs and wallet chains, I need to explain why.

It says it all in my receipt. My server wants me.

She thought I was adorable and young! Why else would she use those words. CUTE means adorable. GIRL means young. She could have put NOT HIDEOUS CHICK or WHITE TOP CHICK or LOUD ONE.

She kept an eye on me. That’s what you do when you think someone is hot. That, or you want to make sure they don’t skip out on their tab.

She brought me cocktails. Sure she gets paid to do it. But it’s only $2.13 per hour so I’m sure she was motivated by something else.

Fuck, the pieces are coming together now. I fell for her trap. She is a tipped employee.

Clearly flattery paid off; I left her with a 63% tip (this was computed long after the evening, since doing that kind of math is impossible with a few cocktails in me).

At least I started this pretend lesbian love affair with a super crafty and smart server. I’ve definitely made worse love choices in my life. But really I should know better…and I should add servers/wait staff/tipped employees to my list of strippers and lead singer in this post.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

I attended one of those wine tasting events with a group of friends. We were all coupled up. Meaning, we all came with were with our significant others.

Back to the tasting. I always choose to swallow. It makes the most sense. Who wants to waste all that liquid goodness? And if you’re thinking that I’m referring to anything but the spit or swallow method in wine tasting, you’re wrong. Sick and wrong.

Swallowing that much wine leads to drunk. We were a big group of swallowers. And we became a big group of drunks.

Which naturally leads to continuing the party at one of the couple’s house. It was a great house. With plenty more wine. And a hot tub.

If you put together a bunch of swallowing drunks in a house with a hot tub, what do you get? A bunch of naked people in the hot tub. I’m sure you saw that coming. This was not a planned event for the evening, therefore none of us had swimsuits. Seriously, who brings a fucking swimsuit to a wine tasting event? Back to our brilliant plan. We all strip down. Yep, get naked. And jump in.

So we squished around in the hot tub for a bit. We continued drinking. Finally we decided we had enough wet fun. Luckily there were plenty of towels.

We got out. We dried off. We sat on the couches wrapped in towels by the fire. And what did I do?

I fucking fall asleep. Remember, falling asleep is something I do. I fell asleep sitting up on the couch wrapped in my towel.

Time passes. And I wake up.

Everyone is still in the room. It looks normal as I scope out the crowd. Until I realize that I’m the only one completely butt ass naked.

Suddenly the hot tub idea seems like a dumb one.

Please tell me that this has happened to you!

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine related stories.