I love wine. Therefore I’m going to incorporate a weekly post: Wino Wednesdays. Here is why…

As the Mother Goose nursery rhyme goes: ”Sugar and spice and all things nice. That’s what little girls are made of!”

Clearly I’m not like most girls. I  am made of sugar.  However there isn’t anything spicy about me. Unless of course, spice is wine. And wine equals drunk. Which makes me both sweet and drunk. Please hang on while I top off my wine glass. Love you. <~ See how that is both sweet and drunk?

Now that we’ve established my affinity in life, I like to pass it on. I enjoy having people over at my house. I often find myself refilling glasses. I have a terrible habit of having way too much wine in my house. This includes several stocked wine racks. A few cases stacked in the garage. And an extra garage refrigerator stocked with chardonnay. I won’t even mention my keg fridge sporting two different draft beers on tap.

This overstocking habit of mine is related to one thing! The more others drink, the funnier I may seem and the hotter I might look.

The chances that you’re reading this and you’re NOT at my house are likely. And since I can’t actually top of your glass, I encourage you to imbibe on Wednesdays with me. I picked Wednesdays because it starts with “W” for wino and because Sarah thought of it. Please pour yourself another glass before reading my blog post. Chances increase that you’ll laugh if you drink.

So brace yourself for Wino Wednesdays. I’ve got wine stories that won’t disappoint.

Cheers!

Are you kidding? Domestic duties and I don’t get along. Don’t get me wrong. I have an extremely tidy household. 

But let’s face it…I don’t cook. Apparently I shouldn’t do other domestic chores either. Specifically LAUNDRY. 

LESSON: When you smell bleach, take it seriously. The cupboard above the washing machine is where I kept mine.

I do laundry all the time. Glamorous, I know! There is often a load in the washing machine, even if I’m at work. It gets dried when it’s convenient for me. So long as it doesn’t stink like mildew, I’m happy.

Well if you have a leaky bleach bottle stored above the washing machine with a load sitting the washer…YOU’RE SCREWED.

I lost my favorite workout pants, a pair of jeans, a fitted sheet (found in the dryer from an earlier load of laundry)…

This bleached out mess was caused by a slow drip into the washing machine where the load of laundry sat while I lazily ignored it.

And while I was cleaning up that mess and taking photos, guess what happened. Yep…another load ruined. Two duvet covers and 4 pillow cases.

There are no pictures of that catastrophe since I was in tears. I saw $800 worth of bedding fall apart in my hands. All because of a $2.00 bottle of bleach with a hole in the bottom.

My dear friend Lisa flew out to Salt Lake City from Orange County, California, for business on Sunday. Lisa and I went to college together in San Diego and were sorority sisters. Go ahead, make fun of us. We already know that the best way to turn on the lights after sex is to open the car door. Duh.  Yep, we’re both blonde too. So the jokes are never-ending. 

I adore Lisa. She’s hot, fun, smart, successful and has an opened mind.

We were able to meet up for dinner on Sunday night.  Lisa specifically asked me to behave during her visit. She had to have a clear mind for an early morning meeting on Monday. It is sad that my dear friend must remind me when to mellow out and not get wrapped up in the fun? Well we did go to college together after all.  

So being on my best behavior I picked her up from the airport with a mellow diet coke and vanilla vodka cocktail. Then we headed to my favorite hang out…Porcupine Pub. We managed to have  a couple glasses of mellow wine there. She enjoys red, I enjoy white. Then we headed to my house for more wine. But don’t worry, it was mellow wine.  

It was at my house that I asked Lisa if she was getting sick. She was sniffling. She said no. Then I asked if she was allergic to my cat. She said maybe but probably not.

Then she broke my heart! She said, “It’s probably the Cabernet Sauvignon. I can usually only have one glass of Cab.” This is when the night got mellow. Tears do that to me.

Either I need to discover another drink for Lisa or I need get a new friend. Allergic to wine! I’ve known Lisa for 20 years, so dumping her at this point seems silly. I’ll keep her. And I’ll keep a stash of Pinot Noir on hand just for her.