Off The Chest » animals

I Want To Try New Meat

Susan Mercedes — Thu, 23 Jul 2009 16:00:43 +0000

I had dinner with some friends the other night. And by “had dinner”, I mean they cooked for me! I almost fell in love. It was that good. But describing the food will only make my mouth water and it takes me away from my story.

One of the friends, Amy (<~ link to her Twitter account) opened my eyes to the world. She’s from Australia. You can’t really tell that from her Twitter account that she’s not American except for the occasional misspelled word (behaviour, colour, honour, analyse).

Amy shared with us all sorts of animals that were native to Australia. Names I had never heard of. Animals that looked so strange to me.

The only question I kept asking was “Can you eat that?” I’m all about food. And when I’m exposed to the world, I want to eat it’s meat.

Precious Moments Involving a Small Rack

Susan Mercedes — Mon, 29 Jun 2009 16:00:00 +0000

As I’m driving home on Sunday getting ready to wind down my weekend, this is what I see along a busy road.

This was right after these two creatures bolted in front of my car as I’m speeding along at 50 miles per hour. The photo isn’t great, but hey…I was driving.

They were super cute. And one of them had an adorable (= small) rack.

Awww. This stuff tugs at my heart strings.

Fake boobs: check, Bleached hair: check, Leopard print: check – Rawwwr

Susan Mercedes — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 14:25:04 +0000

I got a little worried recently. I’m 37. And I’m single.

At dinner I noticed two hot older women. I tried to sneak a photo of them but it was a leopard print blur. You know how hard it is to inconspicuously walk with phone in front of your face trying to aim at moving targets? They were both older with blonde hair. Both had arthritis (okay huge fake boobs), artificial nails, super tanned, tight clothes and sitting at a table with three younger men. The women were hot, the men were hotter.

Which leads me to the cougar scare. Urban Dictionary describes a cougar as an attractive woman in her 30’s or 40’s who is on the hunt for a younger man.

Even Barbie is known to have cougaresque tendencies:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c9MlyisqUQI

Rather than worry and get my fake boobs removed, or go back to my natural dirty blonde hair I’ve decided to take another route. I won’t wear tight animal print shirts, prey on younger men, or get artificial nails.

If I ever forget, you have my permission to withhold wine until I come to my senses again. Trust me, this says a lot.

Takes My Breathe Away

Susan Mercedes — Wed, 04 Feb 2009 14:35:17 +0000

I love my cat. He was a stray that showed up on my doorstep 6 years ago and never left. Best cat ever. Sure, he does normal cat stuff. But he is also extra cool.

He snores and drools when he sleeps. He’s smart. If I push the snooze button on my alarm too many times, he taps my face to wake me up. Soon I’ll be training him to give up the litter box and use a regular toilet. This will happen just as soon as I can decide which toilet in my home can be dedicated to him for several weeks.

He even poses for pictures with his tongue sticking out…

Kitty (aka Tom Tom)

By now you’re probably convinced that I have the coolest cat ever. That is not why I wrote this. He’s not for sale. But if I could change one thing I would. I’d wax him. Settle down people, I won’t. But he makes it hard for me to breathe. Yeah, his cat dander and my lungs don’t mix. Asthma is a bitch. But it would be weird to sleep without my purring, snoring, drooling cat spooning me at night. It’s nothing a puff or two can’t conquer.

My Rabbit

Susan Mercedes — Wed, 21 Jan 2009 10:14:23 +0000

I would miss my rabbit so much if it suddenly disappeared. By rabbit, I don’t mean the kind with paws you use for keychains or to boil in order to profess your obession over a married person. Because I’m not talking about a bunny rabbits.

Mine is kept in a top drawer and I use every other night.

My Rabbit

– Post From My iPhone