My heart broke last night. In fact, it’s still broken. I actually lost sleep last night.

I’m so fucking sad. And that is NOT an exaggeration.

It involves two of my favorite at home pastimes: drinking wine and using my laptop.

I drink wine from Riedel stemware. Mostly because it makes my wine taste better. And when you drink as much wine as I do, you have to buy the inexpensive stuff. Let me tell you, drinking inexpensive wine out of fancy stemware makes all the difference in the world.

While I was in NYC back in October, I visited the flagship Apple store on 5th Avenue. I felt like a kid in the candy shop. I got caught up with the excitement and upgraded my equipment. Almost like when I got my new boobs. Let’s face it, I had boobs before, but I improved them with an upgrade. Trust me. They are so much better now. Oh right…back to the laptop. On that trip I got my new baby, a MacBook Pro laptop. I was using a MacBook Air that I love. But the upgrade in my equipment felt so right.

Well last night, disaster struck. And it involved my two favorite things (not my boobs).

Here’s a hint:

The picture shows a full wine glass on the table and my laptop on the ground below.

The disaster involves the two meeting.

Laptop got wet. Glass shattered. I cried.

Now I’m left with one less Chardonnay glass (which has been discontinued). And a MacBook Pro with a mousepad that no longer works.

And a broken heart.

I bought new sponges. The kind for the sink, not the kind that stop babies from happening. Do women even use those anymore? Never mind. No need to answer that.

After I bought my new adorable pink sponges, I learn that it’s Breast Cancer Awareness Month.

I love pink. I love boobs. Especially when that are without cancer.

So now everytime I was a dish, okay fine….a wine glass, I will think of all the boobs I’m saving.

I’m making this post short. Mainly because I’m in a foul mood. And I’m forcing myself to see the upside of life. You know how fucking hard that is to do when you’re as pissy as I am right now?

Stresser: Subsequent Upside

Boobs seemed to have grown a size overnight causing my standard black dress to be snug on top: Makes my waist look super tiny.

Forgot to eat breakfast: Eating Cheetos for breakfast totally guilt free. Breakfast is the most important meal of the day and that’s all I had in my office.

Rush to get out the door today: See above upside.

My to-do list at work is HUGE and growing: I have a job.

Need to respond to an email my ex sent me: He’s my ex.

I have a business lunch I’m not prepared for: It’s an expensed lunch.

Cancelled my session with my trainer tonight: Booked a 90 minute massage instead.

My feet hurt in my heels as soon as I put them on, but only when I walk: I have feet and I can walk (yay, two upsides!).

Worried that eating all these Cheetos will make me fat: I can blame the person who gave them to me as a gift. And call him a bastard for making me fat.

Enough. I’ve go plenty to be happy about. If I keep telling myself that, my mood will change, right? Maybe I’ll just quietly get through the day and come back tomorrow all fucking happy.

Carry on with your day people. Hugs and love and all that shit!