This Wino Wednesday post was inspired by my new house pour….Yellow Tail Shiraz-Cabernet. So delicious. So inexpensive. So worth my time. So worth sharing. (Photo is courtesy of the Yellow Tail website.)

I had a lovely evening drinking wine and hanging out with a friend (who, by the way, brought me dinner). We enjoyed a few glasses of wine. And by few, I mean heavy handed pours of my house wine. My friend and I chatted. We laughed. Friend left my house.

Then the worst thing EVER happened.

I went upstairs to wash my face. I set my phone  on the bathroom counter. Hell, I’m never more than two feet away from it. I reached over to grab it. It slipped out of my hands. It fell on my cushy bathroom rug.

It shattered.

And left me with this face…

Suddenly I hate my hands for being slippery. I hate my iPhone for being fragile. I hate my bathroom rug for not being made of feathers. I hate my iPhone cover for not protecting it. I hate my iPhone for leaving glass shards in my hand. I hate drinking for causing clumsiness.

I hate…wait, I don’t hate anything!

Shit happens. (Although I still think the sad look in the photo is justified.)

Now I just wonder what I did before I had this piece of equipment. Hell, it’s only been in my life for a few years but it feels like I couldn’t live without it. Is there anything you have that you can’t imagine surviving without (besides other human beings)?

P.S. For those who care, I have an appointment at the Apple store to get  a replacement at 10:10 am today. Twelve hours is long enough for me to be without this appendage.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

My heart broke last night. In fact, it’s still broken. I actually lost sleep last night.

I’m so fucking sad. And that is NOT an exaggeration.

It involves two of my favorite at home pastimes: drinking wine and using my laptop.

I drink wine from Riedel stemware. Mostly because it makes my wine taste better. And when you drink as much wine as I do, you have to buy the inexpensive stuff. Let me tell you, drinking inexpensive wine out of fancy stemware makes all the difference in the world.

While I was in NYC back in October, I visited the flagship Apple store on 5th Avenue. I felt like a kid in the candy shop. I got caught up with the excitement and upgraded my equipment. Almost like when I got my new boobs. Let’s face it, I had boobs before, but I improved them with an upgrade. Trust me. They are so much better now. Oh right…back to the laptop. On that trip I got my new baby, a MacBook Pro laptop. I was using a MacBook Air that I love. But the upgrade in my equipment felt so right.

Well last night, disaster struck. And it involved my two favorite things (not my boobs).

Here’s a hint:

The picture shows a full wine glass on the table and my laptop on the ground below.

The disaster involves the two meeting.

Laptop got wet. Glass shattered. I cried.

Now I’m left with one less Chardonnay glass (which has been discontinued). And a MacBook Pro with a mousepad that no longer works.

And a broken heart.

I need to preface this post by saying I’m so grateful to be able to have someone clean my house every other week. It is a luxury I budget for. And by budget (since I don’t really do that word) I mean make sure I won’t bounce the checks I write to her.

I found the perfect person to do it. She does a better job than I do. And cleaning my house is a chore I actually love. Well, loved. I haven’t done it in years.  She is trustworthy. She is reliable. She is inexpensive. Oh, and she doesn’t drink alcohol so I never have to worry about my wine stash, beer on tap, or fully stocked bar. Trust me, this is a big deal. I love that she listens to her church radio when she’s here. Mostly because I’m not here. But because it frowns upon her dipping into my alcohol stash.

Today when I walked into my kitchen I panicked. There was a note on the counter. It was a full page handwritten note. She’s never left me a note before. I thought I might be a “Dear SusanMercedes, I can no longer clean your house. Thanks for the last 6 years. Love, Housekeeper”.

Thank god it wasn’t “that” letter. It was a full page apology letter. She broke two different items in my house. I should make it clear that she has never broken anything before. Ever!

Two broken items:

First item: An art project Elle made years ago. It is a fossil which is displayed on a stand in my tv room. I think it can be glued. Anyone know what will bond two pieces of molded sand like material? This was a fragile piece so it may have just crumbled under her feather duster. Who knows.

Second item: a large glass candle holder which was on my bedroom floor. My housekeeper accidently knocked down a picture off the dresser and it fell on the glass candle holder. It shattered the glass.

Right away I went to check out the damage in my bedroom. When I got upstairs I noticed something. Something shocking. Not in the ‘I left all my adult toys out on the bed’ way. But I did shock her. I’m sure of it. The broken candle holder wasn’t her fault at all. It was mine. All mine.

Look what I found next to the star picture frame. That’s the frame that dropped to the floor and shattered my glass candle holder.

I ruined her. She probably thinks I’ve turned to vanilla flavored vodka for breakfast before work. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I much prefer it for dinner.