I have a lot of lip glosses. A lot. This becomes obvious when I travel by plane since I have to pull out all my liquids and put them in a clear plastic ziplock bag. My response to those who stare at me is, “I have a lipgloss fetish, that’s all.”

It finally dawned on my why I love lipgloss. Here’s why:

• it’s easy to apply (I can do this drunk, without a mirror, while driving…not all those things at the same time of course!)
• it’s less of a commitment than lipstick
• it doesn’t really matter what color you put on, it all looks about the same
• the flavors are like dessert
• it’s shiny
• it’s smackable (as in kissable not hit-able)
• it’s smells delicious
• it satisfies my dessert cravings (okay that one is a lie, I still eat dessert)

Proof is here:

I just dumped out my makeup bag (after picking out the safety pins and brush) and took a shot.

Why carry so many? Because you just never know if it’s a toasted coconut day or a plain vanilla day.

(Sidenote: I think I have a overstocking problem as shown how I do it with wine and why that affects one’s sex life Seriously. It’s proven.)

This theory was crafted after many glasses of Alice White Chardonnay. It is my house white wine….an easy drinking chardonnay from Eastern Australia.

I have a huge fear. That fear is running out of something. Specifically wine. Therefore I keep a stash on hand at all times. By stash, I mean 40-50 bottles. This could be because I grew up kinda poor. As an adult, I find that I buy everything in duplicate. But wine…I buy it by the case. Always. I also don’t love going to the store. So really I save myself a ton of time by buying in bulk.

Two examples of my wine stash spots (I have several):

The opposite of buying in bulk are those people who pick up a bottle to go with dinner. I never understood that approach. Those people frighten me. By the way, that was not a typo. I meant to type “a” bottle. That shit scares me. What if you finish the bottle and want another glass? You’re fucked.

Speaking of which…the more your guests drink, the hotter you look. That’s a fact. Well not a proven one. However I have heard about people who leave the bar with a hottie and wake up with a dog. Those episodes are ALWAYS a result of drinking too much. Now do you see the logic? Drinking more makes everything look better. If you limit you and your guest(s) to only one bottle you’re likely to NEVER have sex again.

Buying wine in bulk is directly related to ensuring a full sex life! See, I’m a genius.

(The purpose of this post was to justify why I buy things in bulk. My bulk wine purchases are now solved. And I’ve already discovered why I do it with batteries here.)

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine related stories.