I went to college in San Diego. What a beautiful place to spend 5+ years of my life! Generally my home phone doesn’t ring. Last night it did…I looked at caller ID and decided to pick up. It was from the Alumni group. Surprisingly they wanted more of my money.

You see, I’m already tagged as a sucker. I’m a Lifetime Alumni sucker. Yeah, my dad was sweet enough to buy my lifetime alumni membership with a fat donation as a graduation gift. It was kind of his way of saying, “Now you’re on your own.” From that membership I have received a beer cooler and a one year subscription to San Diego Magazine. Neither are really helpful since I rarely lug beer around town or need a magazine featuring San Diego while I live in Salt Lake City.

Back to the call. The sweet girl introduced herself and mentioned all the budget cuts MY COLLEGE was experiencing. Before she could ask for money I stopped her and said, “It’s Thursday night, why aren’t you out drinking? Clearly I went to the same school and weekends start tonight.” She laughed so hard (clearly she was a lush and didn’t want to be sober) we had to end the call.

Lesson here. People won’t ask you for money if you make them laugh. This can be accomplished by sharing the pathetic truth. Yeah, I’m a proud SDSU graduate.

We’ve all seen the lists where you share 25 things about yourself and send it to all your friends. Sure, I got it too. I thought about doing it.  Then I realized there was NO WAY I could come up with 25 interesting things.  But I couldn’t get these out of my head:

1. I was pre-med in college.  Clearly I didn’t attend medical school.
2. I was kidnapped at the age of 4.  Clearly I was returned.
3. I lived in Spain briefly. I’m monolingual.

Yeah, you’re seeing it right.  Only three things. And the actual items listed make me feel more pathetic than just having only three.  

Here’s why.

I gave up on taking the MCAT and applying to and attending medical school.  Yeah, I took the easier route towards the end of college.  No complaints really since I have a great career now.  But nonetheless I quit.

I was snatched as a kid.  And returned.  The same day. What does that say about me as a kid?

I lived in Spain to learn the language during a college break.  I quickly hooked up with European students (the Swedish and Germans were my favorite) who were learning Spanish as their 5th and 6th languages. Guess who never had to learn Spanish to survive in that country?  Yeah, me.

If you wonder why I didn’t return my list to you…you know now.  I’m not just being lazy!