This Wino Wednesday post was inspired by wine and stemware.

I love wine. A lot. At home I always drink from “my glass”. For those who care, It’s a Riedel (Vinum series) chardonnay glass. And it makes the best toasting chime sound I’ve ever heard. Sadly, they discontinued this glass, but that is way off track. Getting back on…

Let’s be clear, I’ve been known to drink wine from plastic cups or from the water glasses in hotel bathrooms. As someone who likes to drink I can’t be super fussy about the glass my wine is served in.

My only real preference is to have my wine in a glass. With a stem.

That is…until I had a glass of white wine with a friend on a sunny summer day. Note: the word “summer”.

As you can see, this glass meets my criteria. It is made of glass. It has a stem.

But it is decorated with the words “HAPPY HOLIDAYS” in paint pen. IN THE MIDDLE OF SUMMER! And for some it may even be personalized with their pet name, since “Ho Ho Ho” is painted on the stem. Super classy!

I either need to buy this friend new wine glasses or only drink wine with him during the holidays. Clearly I’ll be on the lookout for non decorative wine glasses because I’d CANNOT allow non holidays to dictate my drinking life, damn it!

Or I’ll just start drinking straight from the bottle.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

This Wino Wednesday post was inspired by a lovely glass bottle, oh fuck it…two bottles of Gnarly Head Chardonnay.

Occasionally when drinking, I hit a wall. Sometimes I hit the wall after 2 glasses of wine when I have little to no sleep. Sometimes I hit the wall after 42 glasses. This wall has been known to hit me at my house, friends’ houses and restaurants. It happens when I’m sitting. The term “wall” really means I fall asleep.

Last weekend was no exception.

One particular evening started out with dinner with a friend. And if it isn’t obvious, drinks are naturally included with dinner. After dinner we were invited to a friend’s house.

Like any good friend, we grabbed $45 worth of chocolate at a local chocolate shop (Okay…I was having a major sweet tooth and insisted we get a few of EVERYTHING) and headed to their house.

Next thing you know, my wine glass is being filled. I’m sure I was resisting, but my friends didn’t notice (wink wink, nudge nudge).

As the wee hours roll around I decide I needed to rest. All that socializing makes me so drowsy. So I decide to rest on the couch. For just a 10 minute cat nap.

Next thing you know I’m sneaking out at 6:30 am to do the drive of shame. Except, there was no shame. I slept alone. On a couch. And actually didn’t get wasted. I was just so tired.

Hitting my wall there was perfect. I’m grateful for my dear friends, especially those who have great couches.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine related stories.

So here’s the story. My cat is a fucktard.

He decides to go out at midnight. By out, I mean outside. However see below for his real plan.

I’m all, “Fuck you Tom Tom, I’m going to bed! Bastard!”

His response is best described by a witness:

Well, he never surprises me. He shows up at 4 am wanting to come back in. Yep, that fucktard cat is trained to tap his paw on my bedroom window. Which is like three fucking stories high. He’s a agile cat with great balance, even after being out drinking for the night.

Of course I get up and let him in. Then he does what he does best. Sleeps. All morning long.

Check out his little tongue. He’s dehydrated from all that beer.

I love this stupid fucktard of a cat. Don’t ask me why.

But you know what really pisses me off? Formatting pictures on this blog. I can’t seem to do it. Sorry. I’m done.