This Wino Wednesday post was inspired by eating alcohol.

I think I found the way to live life to the fullest. It involves Jello shots. In fact the entire plan revolves around them. Here’s how I’m doing it:

• Eat jello shots. Shut up, jello is food. In fact, jello shots are food and alcohol mixed.
• Carve cooking out of my life since I will skip all real food and replace it with Jello shots. This is helpful since I don’t cook.
• Have a constant buzz. Easy to do when I’m not eating real food.
• Enjoy long nails and healthy hair. Jello has gelatin in it which is great for nails and hair.
• Drop any extra weight. Hell, Jello shots are portion controlled. And I think I could even use sugar free which has no calories. Obviously I’d double up on the alcohol since I need calories to survive. Duh.
• I’d never be hungry. Mainly because I could eat anywhere since these little molds travel well.
• I’d be more environmentally friendly by never using my dishwasher. I wouldn’t be using any silverware or dishes. Just those little paper/plastic cups. Fine, I use the recycled ones.
• I will have a lot more disposable income since I won’t need to eat out anymore.

That's me passing out this life changing tidbit at a party. J-E-L-L-O shots!

Here I am after enjoying these tasty treats along with my partner in crime, @h0neyb (Melissa). We had too much fun!

(Second photo is really small and I have no idea why.)

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

I’ve heard of finding hair in food before. In fact, I have found hair in my food before. It is disgusting. And I think restaurants should make every reasonable effort to ensure it doesn’t happen.

But I would NEVER expect a restaurant to go through the pain and expense to keep hair out of food like this one did.

Poor little shrimp.

I had no idea shrimp had hair. But I’ve never looked at a shrimp naked. Well, I have but it was a guy who was, uhm sma…nevermind.

Am I the only one who automatically thinks of waxes when I hear or see the word Brazilian?

I work at a great place. Among all the perks, we offer food at cost for employees who are entirely too lazy to pack a lunch. And by employees who are too lazy, I mean me.

I was starving so I went to the cupboards.  Here’s what I’m faced with.

Then suddenly I realized I was no longer HUNGRY! Well at least not for food.  

For only $.40!

Oddly, up until the word “oddly”, my word count was 69.