Here is a picture taken from a distance of a red wine spill on my white tile. (I know, I hate this part of my house. White tile is dumb.)

I’m almost bummed my housekeeper will wipe it away tomorrow. Until then, it stays. And reminds me of love.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

Elle followed my (sporadic) tradition of including a note on a napkin. Today she did this while I wasn’t looking and stuffed it into my lunch bag.

She makes my heart smile. Every damn day. So full of unconditional love.

Here are my thoughts in return: Dear Elle, thanks for teaching me that you can never give enough love, hugs and kisses everyday to the loved ones in your life.

Please notice the SDSU lunch bag…that conveniently fits a six pack of beer inside. I know, I used it for something way less fun. Except that sugar free pudding. That stuff must have crack in it. And the berries are divine too. Off to get my fix.

And so does Elle…

I got coffee delivery!

I got breakfast in bed.

All because I’m loved. By the most beautifully talented 10 year old I know.

Happy Valentine’s Day to you all!

However you choose to have love surround you.

My brother, Tyler, is older. Much older. And a jokester. And sometimes an ass.

He took Mumsie’s phone and typed that message.

Mumsie grounded him for that. Mostly because he would probably enjoy spankings too much.

For those who care, I am NOT actually adopted. And Mumsie loves me more than my brother. I’m sure of it.

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPhone

We’ve known each other for 20 years. Wow, that makes them sound old!

There are a group of 5 of us that get together a few times every year. Now they all live in California…well, all except me. I moved to Utah to ski. They stayed in California so they could spend all their money on mortgage payments.

Only 4 of us could make this trip. The one that didn’t make the trip loves her dad more than us. We have nicer boobs than her dad, but whatever. She’s an attorney so I’m not fucking with her choices. She’ll sue me.

Back to the weekend. It was a fabulous! I love these girls. This weekend filled with:

• drinking
• eating (completely unplanned but we ate at Porcupine Pub for 3 of the 4 meals)
• a hike
• drinking
• shopping
• very little sleep (mostly my doing since I’m known for waking up early and making sure everyone else has that opportunity)
• drinking
• lots of talk time in pajamas (I said pajamas, not nighties, as pictured below)
• middle of the day beer drinking at a dive bar (picture also below)
• lots of fucking love

The beginning of slumber party on the first night!

Hang over hike up Bells Canyon.

Bar shot looks just like us in college…bad lighting, not showered, drinking mid-afternoon.

Before dinner on the second night.

Having these ladies in my life (all 5 of them) for so long makes me appreciate unconditional love and friendship. I don’t know what I’d do without them. We don’t talk often but when we do it’s like we hung out yesterday.

Do you have friends like this?

There are plenty of people who hate me. Rather than dwell on the negative let’s flip this bitch around and think about the upside. It’s what I do.

I am blessed to have great people around me. Seems like people like me. After some deep thinking, which is a brief scuba dive for me I realized some people might even LOVE me.

Here they are. And here is the reason why.

My housekeeper because I make her job easy. Hell, that big stainless steel gas powered box stove (I googled that shit) never needs to be cleaned.

Alcoholics because I make them look sober.

Skiers and golfers because I make them look talented. But I’m a hell of a lot of fun to bring along. Promise.

Grocery stores because I buy everything in duplicate only to throw out 1/2 only to purchase again the following week.

Friends who cook because compared to my talent in the kitchen they are the equivalent to Julia Childs, even if they only cook mac & cheese.

Kids because I can relate to them and function on their childish level.

My family (who, besides Elle, are all in Texas) because I live at a safe distance where they don’t have to accept my phone calls if I’m bugging them so far away.

The wine store because I buy wine by case (who am I kidding, 3-4 cases at a time) and always ask for the back room stock so I don’t empty their shelves.

Fast drivers because I stay out of their way by driving even faster.

Custodian at work because I may be the only person to give him a Christmas card with money in it. This is out of guilt because I feel I should empty my own trash but he refuses to let me.

So if you’re not a potential housekeeper, an alcoholic, a sports enthusiast, a grocery store owner, a friend who cooks, a kid, my family, a wine store manager, a fast driver or the daytime custodian then there is a high probability that you WON’T LOVE ME. But you might like me. Or you may hate me (which makes me question why you’re reading my blog, but whatever. Enjoy). The possibilities are endless.

I’ll end by saying: I’m a lover, not a fighter. So please categorize yourself into one of these groups so I can be on your “God, I love that Susan Mercedes” list. Or remind me of another category I should add to this list. I’m always opened to adding more love in my life.

It’s simple. I may have fallen head over heels in love. With a girl.

Now before you start shopping for fanny packs and wallet chains, I need to explain why.

It says it all in my receipt. My server wants me.

She thought I was adorable and young! Why else would she use those words. CUTE means adorable. GIRL means young. She could have put NOT HIDEOUS CHICK or WHITE TOP CHICK or LOUD ONE.

She kept an eye on me. That’s what you do when you think someone is hot. That, or you want to make sure they don’t skip out on their tab.

She brought me cocktails. Sure she gets paid to do it. But it’s only $2.13 per hour so I’m sure she was motivated by something else.

Fuck, the pieces are coming together now. I fell for her trap. She is a tipped employee.

Clearly flattery paid off; I left her with a 63% tip (this was computed long after the evening, since doing that kind of math is impossible with a few cocktails in me).

At least I started this pretend lesbian love affair with a super crafty and smart server. I’ve definitely made worse love choices in my life. But really I should know better…and I should add servers/wait staff/tipped employees to my list of strippers and lead singer in this post.

Wino Wednesday…this weekly feature is designed to share my wine alcohol related stories.

Now to move on to why we’re here…

Have you ever wondered what people would say about you at your funeral? I have. I’m curious. I want to know. Only downside, I’d be too dead to hear it.

Nothing feels better than being reminded  by friends and family what they adore about you. It also feels good to share with others what you love about them. But for some reason most people don’t share this shit.

I think I’m going to start sharing this stuff with people I love. But not here. It’s too private.

But since I put much of my life out there, feel free to share your thoughts in my comments. I can take it.

It’s like being dead without the dead part.

Anyhow on my recent trip to Texas, my mom did so many things that made me laugh….

at her. Not with her.

Mumsie - July 4, 2009

But I told her. So when she reads this, she may smile. Or take me out of her will. But whatever, she knows I love her more than any other mom. She’s my favorite!

So here are a few things that made me laugh:

• She called my cell right after we landed but before we got to the gate to let me know there was a bathroom right outside my gate by baggage claim. Because I probably needed to use it. My rebellious side surfaced…so I held it. And waited until we got to the restaurant for lunch. Damn her, she was quick to point out that restroom too.
• Before I jumped into the shower my first morning there, she explained that the shampoo was on the left and the conditioner was on the right. Keep in mind, these were ordinary labeled shampoo and conditioner bottles. And I’m 37 years old and quite literate.
• She apologized for slowing down on the freeway. I asked why she was sorry. She replied, “Well, I had to slow down because all these zippy little cars near me were driving crazy.” Actually they were going the speed limit and driving along in their own lane. My new favorite phrase…”zippy”.
• She wears lipstick on her teeth. And she’s just like me. Wait, I’m just like her. We always wear lipstick. I try to keep it off my teeth since that distracts from the piece of spinach or whatever else I’m sporting for the day.
• She is so quick with everything. She takes showers without getting wet (it seems). She wears swimsuits under her clothes, just in case. She cooks everything on high. Yet another skill I got from her…cooking.
• She gets along with everyone. Including my dad and his wife of 15 years. Mom and dad divorced 35 years ago. And she hung out at his house all weekend long like they were old acquaintances. She has a talent.

Damn, I love that lady! She always makes me smile and laugh. And love. And now with all this material, you’re now stocked with “your mom” jokes for a while. I’m nice like that. Got that from her.

But for ordinary people like myself. Long is ALWAYS better.

It isn’t like a line of people. Those suck when they’re long. Especially when you’re waiting for food. Long also isn’t good when you talking about tax forms. Or toenails. That can actually hurt when you wear shoes. Long also sucks for tantrums. Long divorces suck too. That shit costs money and time. However the weight loss isn’t so bad.

Now that I’ve covered the sucky long things. Let’s go over the cool long stuff…lunches, limos, drive shot in golf, time between speeding tickets, baths, naps, kisses, massages, foot rubs and of course, the reason I wrote this….

WEEKENDS!

Dear Ex,

This letter is meant to give some insight on why you were so important to me. You made a lasting impression and although our relationship ended years ago, thoughts of you still cross my mind. Thoughts of why you were special to me. You’re a dear man. You were a great partner for me. Thank you.

You had amazing talent in the kitchen. You were a great provider. You were a great roommate. You were a fabulous traveling companion. You were a caring lover. You were an unbelievably loving other half.

Thank you for your dedication during our time together. Thank you for teaching me what it felt like to be adored. Thank you for helping me feel settled enough to begin my career and allow it to take off. Thank you for showing me how to pamper myself. Thank you for sharing the finer things in life with me.

Our relationship didn’t last. It wasn’t meant to. The reasons for the ending are no longer important. So much time has passed. I wish you the best in life. I want you to be happy.

Love,

Susan

Getting nasty text messages from the above mentioned man is sad. Sad for him. Life is too short to harbor anger. Call me naive. Call me crazy. People who spend energy hating will never find true happiness in their own life. They will not be able to move forward. Closure. It is more than what they do on freeway onramps during construction. It is moving on. And it’s empowering.

And check out the note:

To Mommy,

HAPPY MOTHER’S DAY!

Have a good and enjoyable day!

Love your daughter, 

Elle

All this was brought up to my room at 10 am. She let me sleep until 10 am! Crap, I can’t believe I slept in until 10 am.

Huge smiles!

Happy Mother’s Day love to all of you. This includes everyone who has every mothered anything (kids, pets, significant others, plants, cars or whatever). Enjoy your day. 

Now I must get out of bed and see what my kitchen looks like. But it was worth every dish I must scrub.

His mom passed away,
she left him here.
To get through life
without her near.

He is blessed with love
to give and to get,
why his mom watches over
and he’ll never forget.

The memories they have
are all he’s got left.
But luckily he knows
he’s loved by those he’s met.

Hugs to you my dear friend. I’m thinking of you today.