Today I had an early morning meeting away from my office. I needed coffee. I found a Starbucks in the building. Problem solved.

 Simple order: large mild blend coffee with room for cream.

Then I got pissed when they told me the price.

$2.97

Are you kidding? That’s ridiculous for a cup of coffee! Guess I’ll be reusing the cup for weeks to make up for the cost.

And then I find myself faced with this dilemma at lunch…

Yep, you guessed it. I am having a glass of ice water with all that liquidy goodness in the background.

But really, after spending that much on coffee, I felt obligated to save some money at lunch.

Ever go somewhere and NOT get recognized.  Uhm, yes! Unless you’re famous, I bet this happens all the time. It does for me anyhow. Sometimes this DOESN’T come in handy though.

I had a lunch date scheduled with a guy I had dated a few times. It was on a work day. He was instructed to pick me up outside of my office in a loading dock area off of the busy street. Did I mention that we had only dated a few times and were openly dating others?

When I walked out of the building at the scheduled pick up time I saw him waiting in the agreed upon pick up spot.  I noticed he wasn’t in the car he usually drove. Being a good dater, I didn’t even hesitate….assuming it belonged to his friend or another girl he was dating. It was a large Suburban type vehicle. 

As I opened the passenger door I noticed a kid’s car seat in the back. Again, assuming this car belonged to someone else, I continued without question.

Here’s how the conversation went.

Me: “Hi” [hoisting myself up on the passenger seat]

Him: “Hi” [hesitantly]

Me: [strapping on my seatbelt]

Him: “Uhm, who are you?”

Yep, I got in the wrong car. To make matters worse, this strange man was the husband of one of my employees. She walked out right at exact moment I realized my mistake.  She wondered what in the hell I was doing in her husband’s car. 

Then I looked behind us at the car that just pulled up. There was my date. He wondered what in the hell I was doing getting out of another man’s car right before our date.

Timing is everything. That day, mine was off.

I finally brought home my old set of implants which I left at friend’s house. They were in a white plastic bucket with a lid. This is the discussion that followed with my darling 9 year old daughter.

Kid:”What’s in the bucket?”
Me: “My old boobs.”
Kid: “Ewww. Are they bloody?”
Me: “No. Take a look.”
Kid: “Wow, they’re really heavy.”

Silence.

Kid: “Can I freeze them? They look like ice packs.”

Ice Packs?

Yeah, I’d be THAT mom. The one with the kid who uses frozen boob implants to keep her sandwich and drink chilled.