Being single sucks when…

• you’re sick.
• you need to turn your gigantic king size mattress.
• you want an easy way to turn down an admirer simply because you’re not interested.
• lightbulbs in your vaulted ceiling need to be changed.
• you want to grill. Or in my case, you want any food cooked at home.
• groceries need to be carried in.
• your razor blade is really dull, but his isn’t.
• you want to have passionate loving sex, not alone.
• there’s a thunderstorm in the middle of the night.
• you need a hug.
• you need a bottle of wine opened after a major arm workout with your trainer.
• you want to know if you really snore.

What would you add to the list?

I realize that many of these things have nothing to do with having a significant other in your life. Friends can also be in our life to support us. They always seem to make life happen. Without them, we’d be lost.

Cheers to friends!

Admit it. You’ve had intimate relations with another person. I bet you even have a wild side.

Do you know your purity score? You can take the 200 question test here. I’ve taken it twice and my score is below 50. Far below 50. Like much lower. The higher the number, the more pure you are. I’d like to think I’m adventurous.

Or that I WAS adventurous in my younger days.

On that note, where’s the craziest place you’ve ever done it? Take this poll to share. Or comment your wacky places and stories. No pictures please.

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This article was taken from Playboy by Party Girl: 10 Ways to Have Environmentally Friendly Sex

I have added my own comment explaining why I can never be an environmentalist. It sucks. But it’s the truth.

Wanna save the earth? Start by taking off your pants. Here are 10 tips on how to save the planet, one orgasm at a time.

10. Wash and re-use the same condom. The fact that they feel like intestines to my fingertips prevent me from doing that. You may ask: How do you know what intestines feel like? Well you know how sausage is put in casing (aka intestine wrap). Yeah, I used to peel that off because I didn’t know why it was there. Since I’ve just stopped cooking sausage.
 
9. Can’t find a condom? Re-use a plastic water bottle. Ouch. Although it’d be ribbed. But ouch. Not an option.
 
8. Do it in the back seat of a Prius. Mercedes are really more my style.
 
7. Bike or walk to your next booty call. I’m not really the booty call type. However, that would be awkward if I’m wearing a sexy little number. I live near some busy streets and it would cause some rumors about my ‘job’ choice. Plus this one is ruled out by my lazy ass.

6. Instead of picking up a new girl at a party, bang the one you hooked up with last week. It’s recycling. Obviously, I’m not recycling women. But men…sure I’ve recycled. I often call that a relationship. But whatever.
 
5. Don’t shower until after sex. You can’t smell anyone or anything when you’re three sheets to the wind. Plus I can’t imagine sleeping with someone who would require me to need a shower. Oh wait, there was that time back in college.
 
4. Reduce your carbon emissions by auto-erotic asphyxiation. That shit scares me.
 
3. Use a dildo on her instead of a vibrator. Not near as pleasing. Are batteries really THAT bad for the environment?
 
2. Turn out the lights when you have sex. It saves electricity and no one will see your third nipple. Don’t you need lights for the camera propped up on the nightstand?
 
1. Don’t just hug a tree. Fuck one. My yard only has pine trees. I gotta pass on that one.

So now you all know. I can’t even save the world by having green sex. Well, I’ve got to get back to drinking my bottle of water, turn on a few lights in my home and jump in my car and drive to work.